I’ll just…and THEN I’ll get on my mat.
I’ll just do the washing up, and THEN I’ll get on my mat.
Does this sounds familiar?
I found myself having these types of thoughts as I stood before my computer yesterday morning. The dialogue went something like this ‘I’ll get in to savasana in a minute, I’ll just check Facebook first, ooh the washing, I’ll just fold that up and put it away and then I’ll definitely get on the mat. I really should clean that corner of the room, I feel a bit disorganised when it’s untidy. I haven’t updated my yoga page for ages and I suddenly have the impulse to do that right now!’
GET ON YOUR MAT!! I eventually scream at myself. It does the trick, breaking through all of the bollocks (I’m sorry but it was) that I had set up before it. Down came the wall of denial and down went my body to lie in a delicious knees bent savasana. And I chuckle to myself. Already I feel clearer than just a moment before, my mind slows, the inner dialogue quietens down, my breath deepens and my spine starts to yawn itself in to comfort. Now why was that so hard?
Some days it’s so easy to get on the mat and other days I need to scream myself there. It’s always worth it. Even when I put up every block I can think of, when I do eventually sink on to the mat and rise up some time later I always feel refreshed and centred. Every time this ‘blocking’ happens I’m reminded that the hardest part is getting on the mat! And that regardless of the length of my practise it is always one of the best things I can do for myself each day. So the screaming is an act of kindness really.
An important part of the practise for me is learning to be kind and compassionate with myself. When I can show kindness to myself I am always more able to show kindness to others. When I judge and admonish myself I am more likely to be more critical of others. Being kind and compassionate to others helps send that lovely positive feeling out to more and more people. It’s maths really.
I’m not saying it’s easy or that I get it right all the time. It takes practise and conscious effort until slowly you feel the behaviours becoming a truth rather than something you need to learn.
Today I didn’t need to scream myself to the mat. Today I knew it was just somewhere I wanted to and needed to be.